The How To’s of Sextual Desire

Benaughty blog
The How To’s of Sextual Desire

Words can be sexy, and sexting is an excellent way to heat things up with a potential partner on a dating app, but there is a right way and a wrong way to go about it.

The online dating world at some point mirrors the old-fashioned way of doing things and it’s important to keep this in mind. The safety of a screen can give way to a boldness where some people forget their manners, and it can be hard to know at what point full-on sexting is okay.

What is the end goal here?

Are you aiming for a one-time hookup, repeat casual encounters, or a relationship? Maybe it’s too early to tell, and that’s okay too. Knowing how to proceed can have a lot to do with where this is headed. But if what you are seeking is strictly a hookup, it is important to respect the other person by keeping them informed and be transparent on the up-front about your intentions. And even if both parties mutually agree to keep it casual, that doesn’t give license to proceed to pepper them with raunchy texts.

Don’t immediately go in for the kill.

Start small, like professing a desire to kiss them, and build up to the naughty stuff, just as you would in real life. This approach benefits you in several ways: One, your potential partner may just not be into a virtual encounter, and this provides you with an out before you push them past the point of no return. Two, it gives them time to warm up to the idea and get into their virtual pants. Three, it doesn’t scare them away with too much too soon, like sending a body parts pic after the first date – this is grounds for immediate dismissal.

Another point to consider: it would be wise to move such intimate conversation off-line and into the format of traditional text messages. Privacy is important when it comes to hanky-panky.

Once things warm up and you receive definitive confirmation that she is ready, sext to your little heart’s desire. The green light means no holds barred; photos are acceptable at this point. The best sexts are very descriptive and draw out the process in a slow tease towards the finish line. Sext anytime, anywhere. And once you’ve entered that naughty territory virtually, things are also likely to go in the bedroom as well, unless you are both interested in an online-only affair.

And don’t be deterred if sexting isn’t the object of your desire’s “thing.” It doesn’t mean that he/she isn’t interested. While sexting is a fun, flirty way to engage, authentic, real life chemistry is what seals the deal.