Expectations
When I was a teenager I had high expectations about every relationship I embarked on. I would always imagine long-term scenarios, worry about whether or not we’d have anything in common when we were 30, and wonder how happy we’d be after marriage. With hindsight I can see how ridiculous it was to fret about the future at a time when you should be immersed in the present. Young love should be a time to celebrate the joys of life and the passion of being with someone really special to you. Even if a new someone special is most likely a matter of months around the corner.
Fun
I spent an inordinate amount of time fretting about my lovers. If they didn’t phone when they said they would, did that mean they’d met someone else? Had I done something to upset them? I’d walk on eggshells for fear of saying something that might put them off me. One of my biggest regrets about my younger days was not letting my hair down more. I wish I’d just embraced the fun element of being with someone you really fancy. If you relax and let the humor flow, worries really can be put on the back burner.
Truth
Mind games seemed to play a ridiculously prominent role in teenage romance. There was a lot of keeping secrets, or telling half-truths. A friend once advised me that in order to keep a girl interested I had to be prepared to ‘keep her guessing’ by being downright devious. Girls would reciprocate – ‘bitchiness’ seemed to be a cruel weapon. I now see how ridiculous that all was, as all it did was create an atmosphere where it was impossible to trust someone completely.
It’s not all about sex
I suppose my excuse was that I was driven by hormones when I was younger, but sex seemed to be the be all and end all of any relationship. If there wasn’t the possibility of getting intimate at some point, on a regular basis, then this was surely an indication that the partnership was destined to wither and die. Now I appreciate that romance is about so much more than those treasured bedroom moments. It’s about the whole experience.
Monogamy
When I met someone I considered to be really special I would fixate on monogamy. My mindset was that surely it was important to dedicate yourself to this relationship, in case she happened to be the fabled ‘one.’ Of course it was important to foster an attitude that two-timing was wrong and hurtful, but at the same time I wish I’d taken the expression ‘there’s plenty fish in the sea’ far more literally. Because when you’re young and merely exploring the possibilities of a love life, there are shoals out there!