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Broken Heart But Still Alive

# 1  10/4/13 2:04 PM

Posts: 2
dnnbxtihor This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 41
India
Bangalore
Naughty newbie

I was in a relationship for about 4 yrs and then she went away, yes I did something to hurt her feelings but that was due to circumstances that led to it, We have finally met up but she would like to be friends ONLY and well not get into a settled life.
I have tried to put her out of my mind...went through all of it, booz, smoke, starve it out, friends, drives, changed the damn place every freaking few weeks after but still there is no respite. So what I have decided is to go ahead an live it this ways and yes have tried to get out and talk marriage but then its out of no where that i feel that this new person is hardly like her and there is so much that I miss about her that every other female I end up rejecting because of that. I know its like sad but then dunno how to go on ahead. One thing is clear, can't settle down with another as yet. Its been a year we have been separate.
No she has not moved on, does not want marriage, does not want anything else but still when we meet its all the love in her eyes and the only thing that keeps me going is that, will it be **** to get into a casual **** relationship with anyone now ? confused. I don't think its going to be right. Yet asking. Next I really don't know what it is if she keeps pushing me away yet has love in her for me and its evident and well she keeps on saying that we cannot get married and she could not move ahead because of love and then she turns around and shunns me.

Guys please someone, more the advises is great need help everyone.

# 2  10/10/13 2:27 AM

urnotrede This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 47
United States
Port Huron
Naughty newbie

Is it the love in "her" eyes, or the love in your eyes that you think is in her eyes? If its stableness you crave, get over her....................quit pining

# 3  10/18/13 4:41 PM

Posts: 2
kim47 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 48
Canada
Rockland
Naughty newbie

If it's been a year, then you should consider the fact it isn't going to change her mind.  I could be wrong but it sounds like she is playing mind games with you.  You obviously want to move on or you wouldn't have joined this dating site.  Stop comparing other women you meet on here with her, everyone is different give them a chance.  If you don't let go of your feelings for her, she will drag you down into a worse depression then you have already been through.  Stop running into her & tell her straight out you are over her, get on with your life.

# 4  10/18/13 5:39 PM

Posts: 1
jason86372 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 34
United States
Saucier
Naughty newbie

kim47 wrote:

Stop running into her & tell her straight out you are over her, get on with your life.

You can't tell her your over her if you aren't, and if this is tearing you up as much as you say it is, then obviously you aren't over her.

To be honest, I can give you a much worse story about my life.  However, its not going to help.  That said, you have to stop running into her, and break off the "friendship."  Tell her that its killing you right now, and the "friendship" can be considered later.  I think you're still going throught the five stages of grief.  Those stages can run in a plethora of different orders.  Dissolve the "friendship" for a **** while.  Go and learn who you are without her.  In my situation, I went through the anger phase like five or six times.  You sound to be in the denial stage.  Don't even worry wbout dating right now.  She may not have moved on with dating, but that doesn't mean she hasn't moved on.  Take it from someone who has been in worse shoes that you are in.

# 5  10/18/13 7:37 PM

Posts: 1
AceRider63 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 50
United States
Grass Valley
Naughty newbie

Stop trying!!
I learned you can't make anyone love you that doesn't!

# 6  10/19/13 4:19 AM

Posts: 549
Donjuandemat This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 46
United States
Kilgore
Sweet talker

She wants you to be friend, be her friend. No its not **** even if you still have feelings for her. Consider the tiger and tigress. Does not a successful tiger have multiple mates thru out his life. Rock on and have fun.

D

# 7  10/19/13 6:15 PM

Posts: 5
1steelheart This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 41
United States
Princeton
Naughty newbie

she could be afraid of getting to close so she stays guarded. Keeping you in the friends zone they say. Good things come to those who wait . IF you are meant to be it will work itself out. Sometimes you don't know what you had til it's gone.

# 8  10/19/13 6:18 PM

Sexyone This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 40
United States
Dupont
Naughty newbie

well I think that you definitely have strong feelings for her...which is evident! May I ask what happened to make things go astray?

# 9  10/20/13 8:28 AM

Posts: 1
pink_ This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 31
Canada
Kamloops
Naughty newbie

if she is pushing u away It is a sign to move on with your life
she is probably still hurting of what you said or did to her
or she could I'm not saying she is doing it on purpose
it could also mean she is playing head games with you
which could meen mixed imotions
or payback for what u said
its not fair to you for you going through this
I am definitely not a expert on relationships

# 10  10/21/13 2:05 AM

Posts: 549
Donjuandemat This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 46
United States
Kilgore
Sweet talker

The year I Drove Around With "Character" carved in my door: by John Espinosa Nelson might be a **** bit insightful. Its at the Good Men Project. Not saying this is you or that its pertinent. Tigers live a solitary life, mate.

# 11  10/21/13 4:03 AM

roxie2214 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 42
Canada
Edmonton
Naughty newbie

Sexyone wrote:

well I think that you definitely have strong feelings for her...which is evident! May I ask what happened to make things go astray?

yes I agree for any one to be able to help we need to know a **** more. way di she leave?

# 12  10/22/13 4:31 AM

Posts: 1
angelicadawn88 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 54
United States
Salem
Naughty newbie

good evening,the gentlemen name jason86372b was right.and so was the lady that said she may be playing games.but on the other hand ,she me really still care if she has not moved on after a yr.but if she wants to be friends ,it would be find but after some time.i no it has been a yr for you,but you need to cut your ties for now,forget about dating and start thinking of doing things you enjoy, tell her the you do like her and care about her,but it is time that you move on with your life.that dose not necessarily mean dating. because you do need time to heal and become strong again. i don't no why she had left you.but no one is perfected. we all make masks , and we all need to lean from them.you can't live with gilt in your heart.you both need to let go and let god have his perfected way. i don't no what your belief is,but it really dose not matter. but what dose matter is that you don't let her or anyone else drag you down. every thing happens for a reason in all of are life's. and we can lean from them ,or let them and others bring us down.look in the mirror every morning and say.i deserve better,im a good man ,i make mistake's just like anyone else.but i still get up and get dress the same way.and i put my shoes on the same feet just like ever one dose.  im a good man and this is what im going to do.then tell your self what your going to do that day and every other day .make a list and tap it to the mirror .THE POWER OF THINKING POSITIVE.] ; [ OUR LIVES ARE NOT DETERMINED BY WHAT HAPPENS TO US.&;BUT BY HOW WE REACT TO WHAT HAPPENS>>NOT BY WHAT LIFE BRINGS US>BUT BY BY THE ATTITUDE WE BRING TO LIFE>> A POSITIVE ATTITUDE CAUSES A CHAIN REACTION OF POSITIVE EVENTS AND OUTCOME>>IT IS A CATALYST A SPARK THAT CREATES EXTRAORDINARY RESULTS .so trust in your self.walk away and remember that everything happens for a reason, you must let go and let god have his perfected way.please take care and god bless

# 13  10/25/13 3:26 PM

Posts: 1
massa46644 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 60
United States
Sebring
Naughty newbie

You want to get married, she doesn't.  Your love for this woman frightens her. Have you met her parents?  Maybe there is an arranged marriage assigned for her?   Ask her to meet you lunch.  Neutral site.  Don't act macho, or an attorney cross examining the star witness

# 14  11/3/13 3:56 AM

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Posts: 1
007mkultra222 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 46
Canada
North Bay
Naughty newbie

Been there done that,was engaged at 21 to a girl that picked up and moved across country with her **** only to come back 18yrs later.There is truth to the old adage"If you love something set it free.If it comes back to you it was meant to be"Dating other people will bring her true feelings into FOCUS  once she finds out so be her friend and see if she crosses the line she has drawn in the sand.Don't pine over her and stop the marriage nonsense  .Be very careful not to break another heart in the process and  also be open to only being good friends with her and falling in love with someone else.It's far better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.It can take years to get over it but eventually you will.I truly feel your pain but but **** it up and stand tall because you will never get her back acting lovelorn.The key is that you must get her to focus on her true feelings and moving on is the only way to do it.So set her free by freeing her mind of yours and see what happens .That's the only way i can put it into words.I hope you understand for your sake as well as hers and stop the cycle.
Rent the movie the Notebook it was made for people like us and is eerily like the same scenario as what happened to me.In fact she sent me the movie to watch.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Good luck

# 15  11/5/13 5:52 PM

Posts: 1
snowflake This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 55
United States
Clarksville
Naughty newbie

you will always love that one person for what ever reason , I too have only loved one person but had to let them go , and he always ask why? he did nothing it was me I had to let him go for my own reasons, its been years and when I say years its been 12 years , to this day he was my one true love and soul mate and will always love him.

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