Sign up or log in to view the hidden content

Narcissists and Sociopaths - beware of these dark souls

# 1  9/28/13 6:02 PM

Posts: 2
venusontopmars This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 52
United States
Chehalis
Naughty newbie

I experienced a narcissistic sociopath and only someone who has experienced the same knows the depth of the pain and the disappointment.  It happens very covertly and before you realize what its all about because most people dont know anything about this personality type (or disorder)until after the fact when go looking for an explanation of what just ripped your heart out and why and how it is they manage to make you a shell of what you were before you met them and many cases leave broke without the resources you had coming into the relationship.  These dark souls are called soul vampires or light vampires because the **** the light out of you until there's nothing left and you find yourself abandoned in a heap.
  If you have experienced this type of lover you know it goes something like this: the incredible love and wonder of being swept off your feet, simply adored, and finding the love of your life followed a fall from grace where nothing seems to be as it was and you dont know why.  This phase is when the "crazy making" begins so you find yourself changing and molding to what you think is what they want in an attempt to try to make it better again but find you are never good enough no matter what you do. And you find yourself being blamed for all that is wrong between you as they blame and rationalize telling you "made" them cheat, you made them grow distant and cold, and so on so forth until you find yourself doubting everything.  You begin to wonder if maybe you did do this or didnt do that or maybe it did happen that way.  Slowly but surely the self-doubt coupled with their coldness and cruelty drains you because you have done everything you could to try to make it right - you give and give but its never enough and never get anything in return.  And now that you find yourself desperate for their love which they withhold as punishment for what seems to be because you  want their love! How can this be that you are punished for loving someone so much and so dearly?  None of it makes any sense and there is no making sense or having a reasonable dialog or rebuilding because they do not allow reason to enter their mind.  It is their way, their view, their memories, and their choices and none of it considers your well-being. 
  And so you enter the last phase - when you are your lowest and weakest point yet and you find yourself continuously humiliated as your pleas for them to give you what you crave go unanswered and ignored, you come home one day to find they are gone.  You have been abandoned and left broken and lying in heap and your world is in total disarray.  You discover they have found a new love and their status is immediate with no decency or mercy or respect for the the time and love you have expended.  In this after math, if you do what most do, they begin to lookk for answers and as you educate yourself you discover that you were used, expertly manipulated, and systematically belittled and blamed and drained and then you discover that you want to hate them but you cant.  Instead you are are addicted to a bad drug that you know will kill you but keep going back for more.  That is until they abandon you as swiftly as they made you fall in love.  For most, it takes months and years to recover and all carry the wound for there lives because the depth of the injury reaches your very soul. You will never be the same and you will never have closure or be validated.  If they return it is only temporary until they find a new source to drain. 
  This is known as narcissistic abuse and it surely is what is meant when someone speaks of having a broken heart.  It is the worst thing that has ever happened to you and as you begin to understand what happened, your rational mind tells you it wasnt you but they have brainwashed you so **** you cant help but wonder how you could have stopped it and this si what makes so hard to recover from because you take on the guilt and the shame they never experienced even during the numerous affairs and the cruel ways they treated you.  You discover they are incapable of empathy so they can hurt you with ease never feeling guilt or shame which is the mechanism humans rely to keep us in check preventing everyone from indiscriminately hurting those around at your whim,  And the final blow is when you realize they never loved you. It was all an act for how can a person love without compassion and there was not a drop of compassion given through out the hell they put you through.  So beware my tender hearts of the dark souls.  Learn about them and how to spot them early on because otherwiser you can become an unwitting victim and not realize till its too late.  Warn your **** your friends your relatives because these dark souls are abundant but disguised well for they are skilled at blending and pretending.  Beware to those who have not experienced this life threatening person and to those that have my heart goes out to you for I know well the pain you experience.  Spread the word for these people are surely evil and they would have us all if they could. Protect your light and never give up your personal power to confusion. THE BEST DEFENSE - TRUST YOUR GUT.  IF IT FEELS WRONG NO MATTER HOW CHARMING THEY ARE IT IS WRONG.  DONT LET YOUR BOUNDARIES FAIL.  TRUST YOUR GUT AND HEED THE RED FLAGS. Its the only way to save yourself.

Venus, 10 yrs with a naricissistic sociopath, abandoned 1 year ago and still fighting for recovery 

"First, seek to understand, then to be understood"

# 2  10/1/13 12:24 AM

Ask him for a photo
This member doesn't have a photo, click to ask him to upload a photo
Posts: 1
Desperate4it2 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 47
United States
Chehalis
Naughty newbie

you've had the life **** out of you I feel your pain

# 3  10/1/13 8:53 PM

Posts: 1210
kosgo This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 54
United States
Portland
Wicked charmer

I found out like you my friend...the hard way...But, unfortunately...i married one...had two beautiful **** with...and now, in therapy because of...but, here I am...Me whole again...he couldn't steal the real essences of me, Kellee, but after 14 years of marriage to one...I do have alot of healthy living to make up...this is my beginning here...and I'm enjoying myself greatly...thank you for sharing sister...peace, you deserve it...

venusontopmars wrote:

I experienced a narcissistic sociopath and only someone who has experienced the same knows the depth of the pain and the disappointment.  It happens very covertly and before you realize what its all about because most people dont know anything about this personality type (or disorder)until after the fact when go looking for an explanation of what just ripped your heart out and why and how it is they manage to make you a shell of what you were before you met them and many cases leave broke without the resources you had coming into the relationship.  These dark souls are called soul vampires or light vampires because the **** the light out of you until there's nothing left and you find yourself abandoned in a heap.
  If you have experienced this type of lover you know it goes something like this: the incredible love and wonder of being swept off your feet, simply adored, and finding the love of your life followed a fall from grace where nothing seems to be as it was and you dont know why.  This phase is when the "crazy making" begins so you find yourself changing and molding to what you think is what they want in an attempt to try to make it better again but find you are never good enough no matter what you do. And you find yourself being blamed for all that is wrong between you as they blame and rationalize telling you "made" them cheat, you made them grow distant and cold, and so on so forth until you find yourself doubting everything.  You begin to wonder if maybe you did do this or didnt do that or maybe it did happen that way.  Slowly but surely the self-doubt coupled with their coldness and cruelty drains you because you have done everything you could to try to make it right - you give and give but its never enough and never get anything in return.  And now that you find yourself desperate for their love which they withhold as punishment for what seems to be because you  want their love! How can this be that you are punished for loving someone so much and so dearly?  None of it makes any sense and there is no making sense or having a reasonable dialog or rebuilding because they do not allow reason to enter their mind.  It is their way, their view, their memories, and their choices and none of it considers your well-being. 
  And so you enter the last phase - when you are your lowest and weakest point yet and you find yourself continuously humiliated as your pleas for them to give you what you crave go unanswered and ignored, you come home one day to find they are gone.  You have been abandoned and left broken and lying in heap and your world is in total disarray.  You discover they have found a new love and their status is immediate with no decency or mercy or respect for the the time and love you have expended.  In this after math, if you do what most do, they begin to lookk for answers and as you educate yourself you discover that you were used, expertly manipulated, and systematically belittled and blamed and drained and then you discover that you want to hate them but you cant.  Instead you are are addicted to a bad drug that you know will kill you but keep going back for more.  That is until they abandon you as swiftly as they made you fall in love.  For most, it takes months and years to recover and all carry the wound for there lives because the depth of the injury reaches your very soul. You will never be the same and you will never have closure or be validated.  If they return it is only temporary until they find a new source to drain. 
  This is known as narcissistic abuse and it surely is what is meant when someone speaks of having a broken heart.  It is the worst thing that has ever happened to you and as you begin to understand what happened, your rational mind tells you it wasnt you but they have brainwashed you so **** you cant help but wonder how you could have stopped it and this si what makes so hard to recover from because you take on the guilt and the shame they never experienced even during the numerous affairs and the cruel ways they treated you.  You discover they are incapable of empathy so they can hurt you with ease never feeling guilt or shame which is the mechanism humans rely to keep us in check preventing everyone from indiscriminately hurting those around at your whim,  And the final blow is when you realize they never loved you. It was all an act for how can a person love without compassion and there was not a drop of compassion given through out the hell they put you through.  So beware my tender hearts of the dark souls.  Learn about them and how to spot them early on because otherwiser you can become an unwitting victim and not realize till its too late.  Warn your **** your friends your relatives because these dark souls are abundant but disguised well for they are skilled at blending and pretending.  Beware to those who have not experienced this life threatening person and to those that have my heart goes out to you for I know well the pain you experience.  Spread the word for these people are surely evil and they would have us all if they could. Protect your light and never give up your personal power to confusion. THE BEST DEFENSE - TRUST YOUR GUT.  IF IT FEELS WRONG NO MATTER HOW CHARMING THEY ARE IT IS WRONG.  DONT LET YOUR BOUNDARIES FAIL.  TRUST YOUR GUT AND HEED THE RED FLAGS. Its the only way to save yourself.

Venus, 10 yrs with a naricissistic sociopath, abandoned 1 year ago and still fighting for recovery 

"First, seek to understand, then to be understood"

# 4  10/7/13 8:45 AM

Posts: 1
NCraymondr909 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 27
United States
Ontario
Naughty newbie

Alright this happend to me and well i havnt dated or anything in just about a year now its got my guard up really high n i am shy so what is the next thing? Just need some insight.

Board footer

18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement
scamcheck

BeNaughty ranked #8 among all UK websites
in the Hitwise Lifestyle - Dating industry, based on
market share of visits in January - December 2011.