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Broken, but not defeated

# 1  3/26/14 2:34 AM

Posts: 35
darkmathis This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 28
United States
Anderson
Naughty newbie

I had this great, amazing, heartfelt, well-thought-out post and I hit the character limit at some point.  I was telling the story about how I came to be here.  I guess I have to abridge the story.

I was happily married to the love of my life.  We had been together for two years before deciding to get married, which itself was a decision we reached pragmatically because we were going to be in Vegas anyway, she was quitting her job, she was ****, and she needed to have insurance to help with the hospital bills that we were about to have.

The three days after my son was born were the best three days of our marriage.  I got to be the hero in the hospital because, due to some complications, we didn't get to see our son.  I cried in front of four orderlies and a doctor to get them to move my son into our room, and I got to be the one to push him in.  It was an amazing moment for me, and I didn't realize it would be the high point of our marriage.

She took time off from work after that and was living off savings.  She would return to get part-time work to help me cover the mortgage, but she became increasingly removed in the month following starting this new job.  November was bleak, and I wouldn't know until later that that was when she decided our marriage was over.  I was not consulted in the decision.

I would also find out she started **** on me that same month.  She claims it was just an emotional affair, but no reasonable person would believe that with the emails, text messages, and phone calls I saw and overheard.

I reached a dark point, considered suicide, got help, lost 20 pounds, and fixed my damages.  I came to accept that it wasn't my fault, and so here I am, starting over.  It's as good a place as any.

# 2  4/8/14 3:02 PM

Posts: 3
lonelyfather26 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 26
United States
Piqua
Naughty newbie

it isnt your fault she cheated on you just like my **** cheated on me. we both have to get up off our feet and move on, put the past in the past. but you have to take care of your **** just like i do to, lets just hope they dont stick us with too much **** support and complain even more when we have to see them. oh and remember this they get jealous if they see you with another woman, it doesnt matter if they have another man by their side or not either. if they hear you have a woman or see that you have a woman they are jealous!

# 3  4/8/14 3:15 PM

Posts: 1
Stonerat This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 37
Canada
Sherwood Park
Naughty newbie

This happened to me as well mine happened after eight years and three ****.which do live with me at this point. They don't like it when you move on, in their mind we are suppose to sit and wait for them . All you can do is support your **** emotionally and let them know that you love them and that they are the most important thing to you

# 4  4/8/14 8:13 PM

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Posts: 1329
Miss_lovely1 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 33
United Kingdom
Wakefield
Wicked charmer

you know that doesn't have to be the end of the story?!

It's up to you to start the next chapter 

maybe it was just emotional but don't dwell on it, co-parenting needs to be your focus and finding your own happy medium for **** free times

# 5  4/8/14 9:56 PM

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Posts: 1
michelle This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 48
United Kingdom
****
Naughty newbie

No one can or should tell you how to feel ,I guess I learnt the hard way that   you cant make someone love you. Iwas married for30 years met him when I was 18 loved him so much ,but now I realise I was in love with someone I never knew and my wonderful son is 25 living his own life which I am so proud of yet I get lonely have changed jobs twice this year and home  in a area I don't know, plus still despite it all miss my **** although having taken him back 3 years ago when he cheated on me and despite finding him with a prostitute in my home! new pleas for meeting up for a chat I have stood strong finally - eventually you to will find a new place in the world like me and as a friend recently said to me be glad your learning uni life at 48 -embrace youre age be glad your not 48 celebrate your **** like mine  who like mine loves mine unconditionally - seems like a cliché and I am forever re learning you will be ok- no other choice right
Take care

# 6  4/9/14 2:25 AM

Posts: 1210
kosgo This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 54
United States
Portland
Wicked charmer

Definitely not defeated... it seems that  there is a common tread  running through  our stories...having the one who you choose to be with ...to have and to hold...decide that they want to hold another...yes,  it is a blow to every fibre of your ego..and often our **** become the innocent  casualties of the decisions of the unhappy... but, I refuse to let it take me out...I've lived through too much to let the dissolvmment  of my marriage...my 14 year marriage  be the end of my life or my ****'s ...I'm looking at this as a temperary set back...my glass may be low but it's not empty...my glass is half full...I'm looking it this as a flaver that was forsed on to me...I'm discovering the woman   that was just under the surface waiting to be discovered...I'm a ****...intelligent... provocative... woman who is lucky to a second chance at life...I've discovered that I enjoy writing erotica...I've found out that being watched  makes me so **** hot....these  are things I might have never  discovered about myself...so, I know I can't change the past but, I can  definitely change the course of my new  ME future...watch out world...Kellee is in the house!

# 7  4/9/14 9:41 AM

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Posts: 1
ppmen This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 53
Australia
Ningi
Naughty newbie

I agree with Stonerat"s post , move on with no regrets but this time do it better and never forget your son ,always be there for him no matter what your circumstances are . Remember **** love there parents unconditionally and the older you get the more you realise how important that is.

# 8  4/24/14 11:13 AM

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Posts: 1
lynda This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 47
United Kingdom
Leeds
Naughty newbie

darkmathis wrote:

I had this great, amazing, heartfelt, well-thought-out post and I hit the character limit at some point.  I was telling the story about how I came to be here.  I guess I have to abridge the story.

I was happily married to the love of my life.  We had been together for two years before deciding to get married, which itself was a decision we reached pragmatically because we were going to be in Vegas anyway, she was quitting her job, she was ****, and she needed to have insurance to help with the hospital bills that we were about to have.

The three days after my son was born were the best three days of our marriage.  I got to be the hero in the hospital because, due to some complications, we didn't get to see our son.  I cried in front of four orderlies and a doctor to get them to move my son into our room, and I got to be the one to push him in.  It was an amazing moment for me, and I didn't realize it would be the high point of our marriage.

She took time off from work after that and was living off savings.  She would return to get part-time work to help me cover the mortgage, but she became increasingly removed in the month following starting this new job.  November was bleak, and I wouldn't know until later that that was when she decided our marriage was over.  I was not consulted in the decision.

I would also find out she started **** on me that same month.  She claims it was just an emotional affair, but no reasonable person would believe that with the emails, text messages, and phone calls I saw and overheard.

I reached a dark point, considered suicide, got help, lost 20 pounds, and fixed my damages.  I came to accept that it wasn't my fault, and so here I am, starting over.  It's as good a place as any.

# 9  4/29/14 7:02 AM

Posts: 1
tamma This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 53
United States
Klamath Falls
Naughty newbie

From a woman with **** after the divorce it is not jealousy that I felt when my **** was with other woman it was the time that being with her took away from his ability to have quality time with ****.  It was more frustration.  I also look at any woman with **** as person who will potentially be around the **** so if her character is that of someone who vies for ****'s attention that **** are also demanding I want my **** to get what they need from **** before another woman. I would have to say the best realization in divorcing **** was that with **** we would always be in relationship but that relationship was about **** and not our differences.  This has allowed my **** and I to be civil, respectful, & even friends after divorcing, going on 16 years of divorced life.

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