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Joke of the day!

# 201  3/10/14 8:22 PM

Posts: 6177
davel2985 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 48
United Kingdom
Basildon
Needs a spanking

**** cordoned off Liverpool City Centre this morning when a suspicious
object was discovered in a car.
It later turned out to be a tax disk.*
                     

# 202  3/10/14 8:27 PM

Posts: 41671
metallica This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 53
United Kingdom
Ramsgate
Casanova

what do you call a scouser in a suit.....

the ACCUSED...

# 203  3/10/14 8:33 PM

Posts: 6177
davel2985 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 48
United Kingdom
Basildon
Needs a spanking

A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the
Counter and said 'Hi, I'm looking for a job'.
The man behind the counter replied 'Your timing is amazing. We've just got
one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his
nymphomaniac twin daughters.
You'll have to drive around in a big black **** and wear the uniform
provided.
The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to
**** the young ladies on their overseas holidays.
The Salary package is £200,000 a year'.
The Scouser said 'You're bullshitting me!'

The man behind the counter said 'Well you started it!'

# 204  3/10/14 11:44 PM

Posts: 6177
davel2985 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 48
United Kingdom
Basildon
Needs a spanking

A Liverpool girl enters an **** shop and asks for a ****
The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall"
She says "I'll take the red one"
The man replies: "That's a fire extinguisher"

# 205  3/12/14 11:42 AM

Posts: 3640
SwissChris This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 61
United Kingdom
Bishops Stortford
THE CONNOISSEUR

How to get a man to smile for the camera



http://****.fap.to/images/full/15/839/83910550.jpg

# 206  3/12/14 6:09 PM

Posts: 41671
metallica This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 53
United Kingdom
Ramsgate
Casanova

JJB sports scousepool branch......the only one in the country with an evening wear dept...

# 207  3/12/14 6:26 PM

Posts: 6177
davel2985 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 48
United Kingdom
Basildon
Needs a spanking

Q. What do you call a 27 year old Liverpool girl?
A. ****

Q. What do you call a Liverpool girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride

Q. What does a Liverpool girl use as protection during ****?
A. A bus shelter

Q. There are two Liverpool girls in a car without any music - who is
driving?
A. The policeman

Q. What's the most confusing day in Liverpool ?
A. ****'s day

Q. How do people know Jesus wasn't born in Liverpool ?
A. You try finding 3 wise men and a **** there!

# 208  3/16/14 5:51 PM

Posts: 42
Justvisiting This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 31
Australia
Sydney
Naughty newbie

*****TRUE STORY******

I used to work in a shopping centres garbage compactor, one day while sorting the cardboard I discovered to my shock and amazement a box of ****, vibrators, butt plugs and a few dvds, all brand new and all still wrapped with the price tags still on!

I was told that if I was to find anything suspicious or out of the ordinary I was to call my supervisor, well... laughing my guts out I thought that this qualified, so I called my 68 yr old cranky **** of a supervisor on the radio and told her I had something to show her.....

She arrived to see what the matter was (I was still laughing my guts out) and I opened the box for her to see, quicker than a flash she closed the box clutched it to her chest and disappeared saying she would take it to security for them to deal with.

It was about an hour before anyone realised she wasn't at work anymore and the next day when I asked about the box security didn't know what I was talking about and she didn't seem to be the usual cranky ****...... for some reason the next week I was promoted to second in charge!

# 209  3/16/14 10:51 PM

Posts: 2866
Welshman This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 48
United Kingdom
Port Talbot
Seduction guru

"Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life," my boss told me.

"Well, it got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago, Chile in 2012," I informed him.

"Really?" he asked.

"No," I replied.

# 210  3/17/14 9:58 PM

Posts: 2866
Welshman This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 48
United Kingdom
Port Talbot
Seduction guru

Let's spare a thought for the man who told his wife that he was going to China on the Malaysian plane and now can't leave his girlfriend's apartment.

# 211  3/18/14 10:31 PM

Posts: 2866
Welshman This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 48
United Kingdom
Port Talbot
Seduction guru

A man received the following text from his neighbour:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around.
In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".

# 212  3/19/14 3:33 AM

Posts: 5158
A-Woman This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 46
United States
Fort Lauderdale
Been Naughtiest

Where are the scouser from???

Please supply a list of locations = nicknames

Teach us people!!

# 213  3/19/14 5:51 AM

Posts: 41671
metallica This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 53
United Kingdom
Ramsgate
Casanova

A-Woman wrote:

Where are the scouser from???

Please supply a list of locations = nicknames

Teach us people!!

scousers are from SCOUSEPOOL...and the only reason a non scouser would visit scousepool is to visit there wheels and hub caps.....

famous **** scousers are ....the BEATLES.....CILLA BLACK......KEN(imnotataxdodger)DODD.....

TV progs set in scousepool......include....THE LIVER BIRDS......BREAD....
i hope this answers your question o'**** signorita

# 214  3/19/14 10:01 AM

Posts: 15150
HBE This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 52
Australia
Redcliffe
Casanova

I LOVE my job

# 215  3/19/14 5:51 PM

Posts: 41671
metallica This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 53
United Kingdom
Ramsgate
Casanova

HBE wrote:

I LOVE my job

ahhhhhh.......youstillgotitthen o'**** one....

# 216  3/20/14 1:10 AM

Posts: 5158
A-Woman This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 46
United States
Fort Lauderdale
Been Naughtiest

metallica wrote:

A-Woman wrote:

Where are the scouser from???

Please supply a list of locations = nicknames

Teach us people!!

scousers are from SCOUSEPOOL...and the only reason a non scouser would visit scousepool is to visit there wheels and hub caps.....

famous **** scousers are ....the BEATLES.....CILLA BLACK......KEN(imnotataxdodger)DODD.....

TV progs set in scousepool......include....THE LIVER BIRDS......BREAD....
i hope this answers your question o'**** signorita

Thank you Metie
I recognize the accent hhhh does it count?

# 217  3/20/14 5:36 AM

Posts: 41671
metallica This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 53
United Kingdom
Ramsgate
Casanova

A-Woman wrote:

metallica wrote:

A-Woman wrote:

Where are the scouser from???

Please supply a list of locations = nicknames

Teach us people!!

scousers are from SCOUSEPOOL...and the only reason a non scouser would visit scousepool is to visit there wheels and hub caps.....

famous **** scousers are ....the BEATLES.....CILLA BLACK......KEN(imnotataxdodger)DODD.....

TV progs set in scousepool......include....THE LIVER BIRDS......BREAD....
i hope this answers your question o'**** signorita

Thank you Metie
I recognize the accent hhhh does it count?

if you hear the scouse accent just make sure they cant see your car..

# 218  3/20/14 8:11 AM

Ask him for a photo
This member doesn't have a photo, click to ask him to upload a photo
Posts: 2055
rodsrule This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 54
Australia
Coopers Plains
Seduction guru

SwissChris wrote:

How to get a man to smile for the camera



http://****.fap.to/images/full/15/839/83910550.jpg

have to say it take a few minutes but I did find the camera

# 219  3/20/14 7:26 PM

Posts: 41671
metallica This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 53
United Kingdom
Ramsgate
Casanova

rodsrule wrote:

SwissChris wrote:

How to get a man to smile for the camera



http://****.fap.to/images/full/15/839/83910550.jpg

have to say it take a few minutes but I did find the camera

i though chris had resERECTED the ..."find the ****" thread.....

# 220  3/21/14 9:13 AM

Posts: 3640
SwissChris This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 61
United Kingdom
Bishops Stortford
THE CONNOISSEUR

Moose



  Two Irish hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they started loading the plane for the return trip,the pilot said the plane could take only four moose. The two **** objected strongly. 'Last year we shot six, and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same plane as yours.' Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even with full power, the **** plane couldn't handle the load and went down. A few moments after, climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, 'Any idea where we are?' Mick replied 'I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year.'

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