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still cant forget

# 1  1/9/13 3:47 PM

Posts: 2
just-eddy This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 38
United Kingdom
Swindon
Naughty newbie

Hello new to this forum stuff but thought id share my experience with you all as its good to Wright things down sometimes , i also have dyslexia so please ignore the spelling mistakes
Ive been on this site almost 2 years now and manly use the chat rooms or did untill this event happend
i have made and met some good friends on line but one is always going to stay with me now for as long as i breath , i first met amy in the chat rooms when she was married and still living with her husband we would chat in the rooms most days and would talk about this and that for hours . This all changed when she moved out of her home with her two **** and started a new life on her own , going threw a separation was hard for her and i was happy that
i could be there for her when ever she needed me for a shoulder to cry on or just to vent her emotions , we became very good friends swapping numbers and adding each other to face book and such , we would talk text and skype every day with out fail , she helped me with some very hard emotional stuff and i her , in may of last year i went to meet her for the first time , i should mention there is a 7 hour drive between us as im in the east and shes from Scotland
we meet at skegnes as she was on holiday there with her 2 **** who i also got on with very well, it was like meeting my best friend and verything seamed right about it , she had asked if i wanted to stay there a few days with them so i did and we had a grate time , danceing and genraly giving her **** a holiday they would remeber for a long time , we did how ever end up sleeping together and at the time it was just to friends enjoying each other and felling close and safe with eachother to do so , we said our good byes and carried on as we always had talking every day and being there for each other time past and she would meet men on here and from her home town and we would talk about the ins and outs of the relationships she was having , coming from a loveless marriage she had trouble with people being nice to her all the time so these relationships would not last long , time past and i invited her on a weekend away with some old friends of mine , we had a amazing weekend , we did say we would not sleep together again but achol changed that as it so often dose , , but over that weekend my feelings for her changed now i had always loved her as my friend but now i realised i had falling in love with her and wanted more .
so after we returned to our home towns i let her know how i felt , now we had talked about a relationship in the past and we had both agred it was not praticla with distance and timeing and so on , but i was not expeting what happend next , one night while in a chat room her **** was on so as always i had it switched on and chatting away like always then a **** that i knew she was helping with the brake up of his marrige sudenly appired this struck me like a lighting bolt ,as her **** went off and she loged out quite sudden , i became very upset so called her ( i should mention this was 12am in the morning a strange time i thought for a friend to pop over ) so i called her but no answer i became very upset and called a number of times i will admit at this point i was becoming very emotional as my mind started to think the worsted of the situaltion remember i was/am in love with this woman about 2am she called me back asking what my problem was to i told her my concerns to witch she answered " well its no of your buiness and we are not in a relationship " so with that i knew that what i thought was going on was indeed going on the same day i was unfriended from facebook removed from skype and all contacted stoped **** , this was now 4 moths ago in witch time i have discovered i have testicular cancer and would of like the friend that i thought she was by my side and after repeated attemps to get in touch with her ive had 2 **** mails  and a text telling me she is now in a relationship with this guy and im to stop contacted all together my heads all over the place and im seeing a coucler to try and come to turms with the loss over a friend who i thought was the most amazing person in my life . i still see her in chat everynight but she has me blocked and it hurts like nothing ive ever had to deal with before. so thats my story just thought id share it with you .

# 2  1/9/13 5:03 PM

Posts: 32591
DD_67 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 47
Ireland
****
Love expert

Hiya, and welcome to the forum.  That's a long sad story and i can feel your pain in your words.

The trouble with sites like this is they can make everything very intense.  The reality of sites like this is that in most cases the person you are talking to will be talking to other people.  Unless you have agreed to be mutually exclusive, there is nothing you can do about that.  You said that you knew she was in touch with other people and that she was seeing other people, and you were ok with that.  I'm afraid it seems to me that YOU'RE the one who has changed, not her.  She's still doing what she always did, what has changed is the way you feel about it.  And she is probably angry with you for the way you reacted when she had a visitor.

# 3  1/9/13 5:22 PM

Posts: 2
just-eddy This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 38
United Kingdom
Swindon
Naughty newbie

no your right in every way it was me who changed the way i handeld the situation was wrong i know that but as they say the hart wants what the hart wants

# 4  1/9/13 6:11 PM

Posts: 32591
DD_67 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 47
Ireland
****
Love expert

just-eddy wrote:

no your right in every way it was me who changed the way i handeld the situation was wrong i know that but as they say the hart wants what the hart wants

I know that feeling only too well, but sometimes all you can do is take a step back.  She needs space and time and a chance with her new fella.  If your feelings for her are as strong as you say they are, you will do what's right for her, and if she is the friend that you believed her to be, she will probably realise and get back in touch.

I wish you well

# 5  1/9/13 9:29 PM

Posts: 8129
zaenia This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 43
South Africa
Johannesburg
Right goer

Hi Eddy....I can offer no words of wisdom to help you get over your obvious pain. As you said, the heart wants what it wants.....unfortunately in most cases what it wants is not really what it needs. Focus on your treatment and getting healthy. Maybe at some stage in the future she will realise the true value of friendship.
As DD said...if your feelings are as intense for her as you believe they are, you will always have her best interest at heart...and sadly it would appear that she has decided that you are not in her best interest

# 6  1/9/13 9:39 PM

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Posts: 1155
Gavin009 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 84
Australia
Millers Point
Wicked charmer

Hello Eddy, the big picture here is YOU, like Zaenia said GET YOURSELF well and then figure out the rest, it is all of secondary importance. You need to survive this cancer and you have to be selfish for a start until it gets defeated, only then can you put this altogether. This is a glib statement if she really cared about you as a friend, knowing your situation, friends tend to check up on you on a regular basis.Good Luck with your treatment and let us know how you are going.

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