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Unmutual breakup... Feeling Crushed.

# 1  10/1/12 9:56 PM

Posts: 1
james52272 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 23
United Kingdom
****
Naughty newbie

My girlfriend of 2 years recently decided she didn't want to be with me any more with no warning whatsoever...
I've never felt any pain like this before in my life and I just wanted to know how to move on?
I'm obviously single now... It'd be great to chat to a few new people on this site to take my mind from the pain

Thanks for listening and helping!

# 2  10/1/12 9:59 PM

Posts: 16124
ruby126228 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 56
United Kingdom
St Albans
Casanova

james52272 wrote:

My girlfriend of 2 years recently decided she didn't want to be with me any more with no warning whatsoever...
I've never felt any pain like this before in my life and I just wanted to know how to move on?
I'm obviously single now... It'd be great to chat to a few new people on this site to take my mind from the pain

Thanks for listening and helping!

the worst part is not realising ...   i decided to call it off with someone recently .... sometimes you realise its time to let go ....    stay on here ....   read Ambrosias blog...  when love turns sour ....  as it really sums it up  ... well done Ambs   ...      the pain will ease

# 3  10/1/12 10:00 PM

Posts: 7468
MsAngel_wings This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 31
United Kingdom
Uxbridge
Needs a spanking

The best part is you will be over the pain eventually ****

# 4  10/1/12 10:01 PM

Posts: 23109
ambrosia69 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 56
United Kingdom
Hereford
Dating expert

james52272 wrote:

My girlfriend of 2 years recently decided she didn't want to be with me any more with no warning whatsoever...
I've never felt any pain like this before in my life and I just wanted to know how to move on?
I'm obviously single now... It'd be great to chat to a few new people on this site to take my mind from the pain

Thanks for listening and helping!

Hello and welcome to the forums. Sorry you are in pain but really time will ease that. Chat away in the chatrooms or post in the forums it can be therapeutic

# 5  10/1/12 10:02 PM

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Miss_Lovely1 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 33
United Kingdom
Wakefield
Casanova

james52272 wrote:

My girlfriend of 2 years recently decided she didn't want to be with me any more with no warning whatsoever...
I've never felt any pain like this before in my life and I just wanted to know how to move on?
I'm obviously single now... It'd be great to chat to a few new people on this site to take my mind from the pain

Thanks for listening and helping!

Iv been there and felt the pain and it's the hardest thing in the world. Not knowing why you were the persons whole world one minute and being the most despised person on the planet the next (well thats how it felt!)

It's really true what they say time is a great healer and forcing yourself to get out there and move on helps.  Fill every moment whenever you can so you don't have time to stop and think

# 6  10/2/12 1:08 AM

Posts: 6227
keefer1097 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 46
United Kingdom
Newport
Needs a spanking

Miss_Lovely1 wrote:

james52272 wrote:

My girlfriend of 2 years recently decided she didn't want to be with me any more with no warning whatsoever...
I've never felt any pain like this before in my life and I just wanted to know how to move on?
I'm obviously single now... It'd be great to chat to a few new people on this site to take my mind from the pain

Thanks for listening and helping!

Iv been there and felt the pain and it's the hardest thing in the world. Not knowing why you were the persons whole world one minute and being the most despised person on the planet the next (well thats how it felt!)

It's really true what they say time is a great healer and forcing yourself to get out there and move on helps.  Fill every moment whenever you can so you don't have time to stop and think

agree with all the above ..its hard to start ..keep moving forward ...it might seem hard now..you will get there fella

# 7  10/2/12 6:18 AM

Posts: 41677
metallica16 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 53
United Kingdom
Ramsgate
Casanova

james52272 wrote:

My girlfriend of 2 years recently decided she didn't want to be with me any more with no warning whatsoever...
I've never felt any pain like this before in my life and I just wanted to know how to move on?
I'm obviously single now... It'd be great to chat to a few new people on this site to take my mind from the pain

Thanks for listening and helping!

pick yerself up....dust yerself down...and get bak in the race fella ...you got a lotta years in front of you....and theres plenty more fish in the sea ...she obviously did'nt think that much of you ...besides...it could have bin a whole lot worse....she could have been miss right....and gone an died on yer ....so...onwards n upwards....simples..

# 8  10/2/12 11:50 AM

Posts: 8129
zaenia This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 43
South Africa
Johannesburg
Right goer

Sorry that you're feeling like the world is all a bit bleak and dark right now...but as cliched as it sounds...time DOES heal all wounds. Give it time. Get back to life and living and spending weekends with your mates and just enjoying being young!

# 9  10/2/12 12:56 PM

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ThrobbinH00d This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 33
United Kingdom
Romford
Seduction guru

Have been in those shoes a couple of times before. Let me **** those sentiments....time really does heal.

But there are a few things you can do to help yourself in this process. Where your **** has not allowed it, YOU need to gain your own closure on the situation. It may take a while but you need to start accepting the reality and the changes occurring. Understand that the ending of the relationship doesn't mean that anyone is at fault.

You shared something meaningful and you should respect those memories. You know what love is and you will know it again soon when you are ready. For now, enjoy the perks of being young ,free and single. Do something which you have wanted to do but never really made the effort to do. Give yourself some aims and some things to look forward to. It can be something simple like going to see a band at a gig or could be something major like going to a foreign country. Do not isolate yourself and try to force yourself to keep active. Even if it seems pointless, really force yourself. The fake smile becomes genuine over time. Good luck.

# 10  10/2/12 1:16 PM

Posts: 17
todd7474 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 40
Australia
Guildford
Naughty newbie

In same boat mate only 2 **** involved, it hurts because you care. I am just working this out as I distance myself from pretty much everything but my ****. Stay the way you are. Not feeling anything is only made possible with a distraction.
Don't get me wrong, it's still killing me, I just distract myself with my ****.
1 week past and the only feeling I have is for my daughters.
Keep your chin up and get distracted.

# 11  12/4/12 2:17 AM

denni12279 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 24
South Africa
Big Bay
Naughty newbie

hey man im in the same boat dude , except that we had loads of issues due to her parents , but we always promised that we would never let parents or anything els for that matter come between us so many promises made and in the end not one was kept by her , we had been together for 3yrs and prior we chatted online for about 7 months before finally meeting up ,i can still see her beautiful toes sinking in the sand the day we planned to meet at the beach , about a week ago i tried to phone her after she had picked up a very needed bra of hers that was left here thing is i was out getting tomato paste for supper and just missed her as i walked in i found out she had been here so i phoned and the phone was off so naturally i kinda lost it i just had this odd feeling something wasn't right  2days went by and i tried to phone her again still off so i tried her other 2 cell number and guess what her **** answers .now i had made a few mistakes we all do but to her she had never done a thing and in the eyes of her parents she was a **** miss **** mary and even played the part when around **** so naturally my side never got taken into account because off all the nitt and gritt that came with it so basically when ever i opened my mouth they assumed it was outta anger her parents that is and there for i was seen as the bad one ,anyway so couple days later her **** picks up so i quickly put down because i didnt want to get her into trouble for being in contact with me bt yet we managed a sneak around relationship wasnt easy at all going from seeing eachother everyday to once a week but hey things between us seemed to get alil better for a short while and then our beloved stalker that has for 3yrs made up story after story to try and destroy what we HAD was at it again and this time it sparked hell opon us nothing went right from that point BUT we could still smile together laugh and love sorry..   Getting dragged back into emotion typing this out. anyway her **** knew it was me 5mins later i got a sms saying i must stay away from them and that my **** has been crying to her **** outta desperation multipul times because she wants to leave me but just doesn't know how ok if that was the case fine i would have turned my back on her asap but the entire time leading up to this i was her man she would tell me how much she can't live without me and that its impossible to not have me in her life but obviously her being her she would be opisate with her parents anyway ima cut it short , in the texts following from her **** her **** then broke up with me and wouldn't allow me to hear it from my **** which is really needed so i respected her **** didnt try and get hold of her nothing i just thought ok ima wait see if she gets hold of me i mean how can she not right, i mean we were sorting things out making plans for the future and then bang she is not herd of again and i have to take her mothers word for it , she was my first i was 20 when i slept with her and it was my first she had been with her previous boyfriend at the age of 13 already but i had fallen inlove with her prior to having **** during those months of chatting online , she has been through all of this before with her previous ,and this is all new to me , so basically its just history making a turn for her and she is happy with it and carrying on with life and im stuck with this empty alone horrific feeling that i feel as though im going to have a stroke or something , its been 2 weeks now since i last herd her voice and im praying that i never do again its the only way that and sleeping with another girl it felt nothing like being with her but in the end it reallly did help alot but the moment u relax it all comes back thankfully each time it does it gets easier to bare , i Have made the decision to not look back and go full steam ahead , My friends have been there for me and im so grateful for that for a work week they did not leave my side they slept here left when i left came home with me when i came home just so i didnt have to spend a minute alone and dwell in my thoughts , i still miss her will do for a long time but i feel that i am on my way to starting life without her and i am comfortable with that and am on my way to being happy , dude take the advice they have given you above it will save your heart from physically hurting people do die from heart ache it stresses and wears down your heart and thats when the physical part plays its roll , i have lost 20kg's in 2 weeks but yet im going on and i will get passed this im well on my way i think , just need to keep my friends close and my thought arrested , the advice given is the only way to get thru it man YOU HAVE TO KEEP BUSY no matter what it is just do it lol mine just included sleeping with another which i do not regret nor do i feel bad about it that it was so soon after the break up but hey we have to find a way to live and to live fully with a smile on our faces it will and does get easier i promise you just distance yourself from her and start living YOUR LIFE and you'l see when you look again you'l realize but shitz niz i havn't thought of her the entire day at that very moment is when your smile will drop and those feelings try and push thru again thats when you force it away i play some ps3 and after a single race its not present anymore or i'l take a drive to a friends place WITHOUT THE RADIO ON of course why because they have the freakn habit of playing love songs when you really don't need that . so keep busy dude anything i even sweep the house out or vacuum sometimes keeps the thoughts away so i can think of what im going to be doing next instead of having her stuck in my mind over and over and over ,DO NOT DRINK it makes it worse mainly when it draws outta your system stay focused on yourself and what you need to do in order to thrive happily we all deserve to smile and feel complete from wake up to bed time , im still botherd by the promises that were made by us tho, but when she walked away i knew i had no obligation to her any longer or should i say that feeling of loyalty just left me and so i was able to get into bed with anther , it isnt usually the way to go but i figured that seens she was my first and only that it would or might make a difference so far i have been right , normally they would say you never loved her or this and that by doing it so soon after and it was very soon but in this case it was my first aid kit for my heart iv gottn to the point that if she had to try and approach me id most certainly pretend to not acknowledge her at all and avoid any sort of converse with her , it would only make things worse for me that is . so in 2 weeks iv discovered that i can find someone els when the time is right but i think a year or 2 atleast of being single should be awsome ,i have missed so.. much in these 3 years because i made the foolish mistake of making someone my entire when infact if i had not i would be so much better of right now i lost sight of life and myself and instead for 3 years i made sure she was happy even if it caused me not to be i quite 4 jobs because she complained and wanted to leave me for the reason that she couldnr always see me on weekends and spend asmuch time together all this i now regret i was ment to be somewher now and be more than just somebody  , dude all i can say to end this very long dismal msg is be strong for yourself the advice given is tried and tested i promise you its the only way but it is all dependent on YOU and the EFFORT you put in to forget and expel those negative feelings , im 22 and you know what i shouldn't even be in this predicament nor should you we are young and we will love again but for now be young go out with ur friends bring girls home from clubs HAVE FUN but don't forget that YOU are important and worth every sickening sad moment on the other hand when there backs turn when all you doing is loving as hard as you can that the point of no return they have proven how invaluable and unimportant you actually are to them . wish you well dude and keep looking forward . Dman

# 12  12/4/12 2:51 AM

Posts: 169
cebiter This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 39
Sweden
Helsingborg
Naughty newbie

Guess the guy above might cover quite a bit
Really and honestly feel with you. Most here i guess have went trough same or similar situation at some point in their life. What i can share is how managed get myself trough the hard time, and hoping time will help with the rest of it.
What you absolutely will not want to do is sitting all alone for long periods. Will just make you go trough it all in your head over and over again, making it only worse
Try spending time with **** and friend that you both care of and care for you as much possible. I guess talking about how feel is ok to start with, but then i really would advise to try doing that as less now it might be possible. And i´m not saying it will be easy
The worst thing as said, imho is spending to much time by yourself. Made that mistake and took me almost 4-5 months before felt i was even functioning as a normal human being again. So don´t do that to yourself.

I know it´s easy saying that time will heal all wounds when standing on the sideline, and you are not the one standing there feeling as the whole world around you have broken up into a million pieces, and everything seems just without color or meaning ...
With people that care about you,and you of them around you will make it just a **** bit easier till it starts feeling as can think straight again...still will hurt when thinking of it, but not nearly as bad, and less and less with time.

With a **** luck someone will a day stand in front of you and then all that time feels just as a bad dream.... well...was like that for me at least.
Sorry for my life's novella here,and wholeheartedly  hope all sorts itself out as soon possible.

# 13  12/17/12 10:23 PM

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StirWIthCare This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 62
Australia
Gladstone
Such a tease

james52272 wrote:

My girlfriend of 2 years recently decided she didn't want to be with me any more with no warning whatsoever...
I've never felt any pain like this before in my life and I just wanted to know how to move on?
I'm obviously single now... It'd be great to chat to a few new people on this site to take my mind from the pain

Thanks for listening and helping!

LOOK at the positive side of this all... there is no divorce, so you were not taken for all you had worked hard for, I take there were no **** involved, so there is no division of time for caring for them, if why she left the relationship was the right thing for her, be it for her own well being, growth or other, you would have to strongly consider she does have to look after number 1 first, being herself, if she wants to be totally happy in life, and maybe at this time in her life you were or are not the right person for her "now"

# 14  12/24/12 3:01 PM

Posts: 1
higgs39154 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 45
United Kingdom
Brandon
Naughty newbie

women can be evil m8 7 months ago my childrens **** told me i wasnt going to see my **** again and that crushed me so i sent a few nasty texts to her and drove 80 miles to talk to her but when i got there the **** were waiting for me and i panicked and drove away, to cut it short i got done for dangerous driving and charged with causing distress and spent 6 months in ****, to top it all off the woman i was engaged to for 3 yrs walked out on me the day i got sent down! now im out i just want her back but i know deep down it wont happen so my advice is to try and keep yourself busy and go for long walks thats helping me.

# 15  12/24/12 3:29 PM

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Dee1970 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Couple (man and woman), 84
United Kingdom
Newcastle Upon Tyne
Casanova

higgs39154 wrote:

women can be evil m8 7 months ago my childrens **** told me i wasnt going to see my **** again and that crushed me so i sent a few nasty texts to her and drove 80 miles to talk to her but when i got there the **** were waiting for me and i panicked and drove away, to cut it short i got done for dangerous driving and charged with causing distress and spent 6 months in ****, to top it all off the woman i was engaged to for 3 yrs walked out on me the day i got sent down! now im out i just want her back but i know deep down it wont happen so my advice is to try and keep yourself busy and go for long walks thats helping me.

Sorry, but that doesn't sound like the full picture. Yes women can be evil, and so can men, so your first statement sounds like countless other men AND women who have a downer on the opposite ****.

Reading your post I wonder if you've accepted that you did anything wrong to land yourself in ****? Whatever the charge shouldn't you take some responsibility? And the same for your break up and the **** stopping you having access. If she was in the wrong you should have been able to do something constructive about it, with the law on your side not waiting to pick you up.

Dee

# 16  12/27/12 5:35 AM

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StirWIthCare This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 62
Australia
Gladstone
Such a tease

Dee1970 wrote:

higgs39154 wrote:

women can be evil m8 7 months ago my childrens **** told me i wasnt going to see my **** again and that crushed me so i sent a few nasty texts to her and drove 80 miles to talk to her but when i got there the **** were waiting for me and i panicked and drove away, to cut it short i got done for dangerous driving and charged with causing distress and spent 6 months in ****, to top it all off the woman i was engaged to for 3 yrs walked out on me the day i got sent down! now im out i just want her back but i know deep down it wont happen so my advice is to try and keep yourself busy and go for long walks thats helping me.

Sorry, but that doesn't sound like the full picture. Yes women can be evil, and so can men, so your first statement sounds like countless other men AND women who have a downer on the opposite ****.

Reading your post I wonder if you've accepted that you did anything wrong to land yourself in ****? Whatever the charge shouldn't you take some responsibility? And the same for your break up and the **** stopping you having access. If she was in the wrong you should have been able to do something constructive about it, with the law on your side not waiting to pick you up.

Dee

I agree with what DEE says here... and again sending her mean texts shows the maturity of the relationship and the vindictiveness...going to chat with her, is/was a good starter but by what you did say in text in threat or more would only fill her with concern for self and ****... your texts are  proof to the **** of your mind set and capabilites and will only help her in this issue and surely legally too.    NOT very often does a parent stop another parent from seeing the ****.... in most cases  the parent with the **** usualy has a valid reason for the other parent to not see the **** at that point of time..... if your latest ****/f also left you, you surely would have to sit down with yourself and ask why did the first relationship with your **** **** fail... and why did the recent partner choose to not stand by her man... you must be doing something wrong to not keep a cordial realtionship on going with both ladies....

# 17  12/27/12 5:50 AM

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neo__too This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 43
United Kingdom
London Heathrow Airport
Such a tease

Ok, I disagree time, doesn't heal anything. It does, however, take the edge off.  My advice is simple give yourself a set amount of time to grieve. You have suffered a loss. It's ok to grieve. Then when that time is up, follow any of the well meaning advice offered from the other posters.  If you find yourself wanting to wallow in sadness and pain after the time you have allotted. Focus on something else. Do something out of character, or something she wasn't interested in. And keep doing it until you no longer notice how much it hurts.

# 18  1/15/13 10:14 PM

Posts: 1
Milo-it-is This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 19
United Kingdom
Fort William
Naughty newbie

Find a hobby that you are passionate about. I had this situation only a few days ago, didn't have a clue what was happening. If you find a sport or a hobby that you can be passionate about it totally takes your mind of it. I found if you feel like this just go improve yourself in some way or create something that you are proud of.

# 19  1/15/13 10:21 PM

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Miss_Lovely1 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 33
United Kingdom
Wakefield
Casanova

Milo-it-is wrote:

Find a hobby that you are passionate about. I had this situation only a few days ago, didn't have a clue what was happening. If you find a sport or a hobby that you can be passionate about it totally takes your mind of it. I found if you feel like this just go improve yourself in some way or create something that you are proud of.

so your minds **** off it already ??

Me I recommend a hot woman, alcohol and rampant ****. soon take your mind of the other woman

# 20  1/15/13 10:38 PM

Posts: 41677
metallica16 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 53
United Kingdom
Ramsgate
Casanova

Miss_Lovely1 wrote:

Milo-it-is wrote:

Find a hobby that you are passionate about. I had this situation only a few days ago, didn't have a clue what was happening. If you find a sport or a hobby that you can be passionate about it totally takes your mind of it. I found if you feel like this just go improve yourself in some way or create something that you are proud of.

so your minds **** off it already ??

Me I recommend a hot woman, alcohol and rampant ****. soon take your mind of the other woman

or he could go fishing...

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