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Really dont know what to think

# 1  11/15/12 8:04 PM

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amand77757 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 48
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Wallasey
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I got chatting with a lovely lovely bloke and we got on great. Swapped numbers then txt and moved to phone calls (like 2 hour calls and normal chat was much of the call time). naturally we got closer and talked about meeting but as there was distance and it wasnt for **** we took it slow as what was the hurry with jobs, **** etc. OK, say 3 and half weeks ago I got a txt saying that he wouldnt be able to talk much as there were bad **** circumstances to deal with, so I said fine and to take some time. A week later I got a txt saying all was NOT fine but he was missing and thinking about me - I have no reason to believe otherwise. I have no idea what these circumstances are as I didnt like to ask. In the last 2 weeks have heard nothing at all. Sent the odd txt just saying how are you etc but no reply. Have asked a few friends for opinions which have varied greatly. I had a lot of feelings for this guy and he said he did for me. Cant work out whether it could still be true or if it was a **** and bull story to get rid of me. Things were going so well and we seemed to share a lot in common. Please tell me what you think. I dont want to look a fool , but if its true then I'd wait it out. Cant understand why no reply at all unless something awful has happened like a **** or something. ****

# 2  11/15/12 8:10 PM

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RitchieRich44 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 50
United Kingdom
Cambridge
**** expert

Difficult to see what could absorb somebody so much they can't even take time to reply to a text. I'm afraid some people just change their mind and think the best way to end things is to break communication. Maybe I'm being too cynical.......

# 3  11/15/12 8:16 PM

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amand77757 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
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Thanks for the input Ritchie ****

# 4  11/15/12 8:17 PM

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RitchieRich44 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
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amand77757 wrote:

Thanks for the input Ritchie ****

sorry

# 5  11/15/12 8:18 PM

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amand77757 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
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Its ok - am actually used to being treated this way

# 6  11/15/12 8:18 PM

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zaenia This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 43
South Africa
Johannesburg
Right goer

Hi Amand....you never mentioned how long you two were chatting? Is he married? Got ****? You mentioned distance...is he not in the UK then? All of these factors would play a role in how things panned out really.
Honestly speaking....2 weeks and no contact? That really does not bode well. Especially if the texts you have sent has gone unanswered. How about calling him? Talk direct? He'd have to be **** or at ****'s door if he is unable to drop a text once atleast to set your mind at ease!

Forget the wanker....if he gets into contact with you then you can ask why the silence and make a decision on whether you still deem him worth the effort. But for him to cut off all contact like that...with no explaination....well...like I said...wanker!!!

Chin up hon...men can be bastards! And this one ain't worth you wasting another tear on.

# 7  11/15/12 8:23 PM

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RitchieRich44 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 50
United Kingdom
Cambridge
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zaenia wrote:

Hi Amand....you never mentioned how long you two were chatting? Is he married? Got ****? You mentioned distance...is he not in the UK then? All of these factors would play a role in how things panned out really.
Honestly speaking....2 weeks and no contact? That really does not bode well. Especially if the texts you have sent has gone unanswered. How about calling him? Talk direct? He'd have to be **** or at ****'s door if he is unable to drop a text once atleast to set your mind at ease!

Forget the wanker....if he gets into contact with you then you can ask why the silence and make a decision on whether you still deem him worth the effort. But for him to cut off all contact like that...with no explaination....well...like I said...wanker!!!

Chin up hon...men can be bastards! And this one ain't worth you wasting another tear on.

We can? Yeah, permission!

# 8  11/15/12 8:27 PM

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TalentedAngel This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 49
Australia
Adelaide
Casanova

It's a guy thing sweetie or maybe because you started getting on the thrill of the chase ended, who knows how they think but remember he isn't the only guy on this earth and I believe everyone has their soulmate and the wait will be worth it so go have fun while your waiting because it will happen.

# 9  11/15/12 8:29 PM

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zaenia This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 43
South Africa
Johannesburg
Right goer

RitchieRich44 wrote:

zaenia wrote:

Hi Amand....you never mentioned how long you two were chatting? Is he married? Got ****? You mentioned distance...is he not in the UK then? All of these factors would play a role in how things panned out really.
Honestly speaking....2 weeks and no contact? That really does not bode well. Especially if the texts you have sent has gone unanswered. How about calling him? Talk direct? He'd have to be **** or at ****'s door if he is unable to drop a text once atleast to set your mind at ease!

Forget the wanker....if he gets into contact with you then you can ask why the silence and make a decision on whether you still deem him worth the effort. But for him to cut off all contact like that...with no explaination....well...like I said...wanker!!!

Chin up hon...men can be bastards! And this one ain't worth you wasting another tear on.

We can? Yeah, permission!

PMSL....as if a man ever needed permission to be an ****!

# 10  11/15/12 8:31 PM

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amand77757 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
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Wallasey
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Thanyou everyone for the replies. Tbh I've been wondering this in my gut, but trying to ignore it. Am so sad right now I guess its life(AGAIN) ****

# 11  11/15/12 8:41 PM

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RitchieRich44 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 50
United Kingdom
Cambridge
**** expert

amand77757 wrote:

Thanyou everyone for the replies. Tbh I've been wondering this in my gut, but trying to ignore it. Am so sad right now I guess its life(AGAIN) ****

I know it's easier said than done, but try not let this incident (or the others you allude to) ruin your chances with others or your trust in men. There are decent people out there, some of whom will be just right for you. Obviously not me, I'm far from 'decent'

# 12  11/15/12 8:51 PM

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amand77757 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
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Really believed he was different and that something nice might hapen for me. it will be hard to trust a man now in all honesty but I guess I have to try. I dont know why I dont have any luck :s Must have that sort of face that says 'walk all over me and lie to me' ****

# 13  11/15/12 8:52 PM

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ruby126228 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
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amand77757 wrote:

Really believed he was different and that something nice might hapen for me. it will be hard to trust a man now in all honesty but I guess I have to try. I dont know why I dont have any luck :s Must have that sort of face that says 'walk all over me and lie to me' ****

we have all had this happen at some point and various reasons  for it

# 14  11/15/12 8:54 PM

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amand77757 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
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Wallasey
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I agree - guess its life experiences but over and over?? Been alone over 2 and half years ago and every time I am remotely interested in a guy it goes pearshaped. I'll be 90 by the time i find one!!! ha ****

# 15  11/15/12 8:56 PM

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smartyarse This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
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Ireland
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Been Naughtiest

if i was in his shoes and something major was preventing me from regular contact, i would DEFINITELY text you 2 or 3 times a week even is it is just a quick hello as i would wanna keep my option open for when this so called crises is over, so we could pick up from before

just sounds like another time waster, unfortunately it comes with the territory. happened to me once or twice and its annoying!

# 16  11/15/12 8:59 PM

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amand77757 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
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Zaenia, sorry, just re-read. Dont think he was married - I called his home whenever I wanted, day or night. No **** (well I have) and the distance was just within UK. I know he's previously suffered with depression in the past and initially wondered if he'd perhapsslipped back after these 'circumstances' arose but all seems a bit weird now. I think everyones general feeling is mine if I'm honest with myself ****

# 17  11/15/12 9:00 PM

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amand77757 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
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Smartyarse, I agree, I would def be keeping my options open as well. Maybe there was never a crises ****

# 18  11/15/12 9:16 PM

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NickofNotts This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 51
United Kingdom
Nottingham
Discussions expert

If I was you I would move on, don't wait for him if he can't return your calls or even send you one text then I think you can assume he is not interested for some reason. Get on with your life, you're a pretty woman and should have men flocking to you........now finding a good one is the hard bit, but there are some out there. Keep smiling

# 19  11/15/12 9:19 PM

Posts: 8129
zaenia This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 43
South Africa
Johannesburg
Right goer

amand77757 wrote:

Zaenia, sorry, just re-read. Dont think he was married - I called his home whenever I wanted, day or night. No **** (well I have) and the distance was just within UK. I know he's previously suffered with depression in the past and initially wondered if he'd perhapsslipped back after these 'circumstances' arose but all seems a bit weird now. I think everyones general feeling is mine if I'm honest with myself ****

Given that he ain't married...or is seperated ...whichever of the 2 applies!.....has no ****.....and lives in the same country as you... there is really no excuse barring his own **** (sorry I'm sure you understand what I mean!)that could excuse what he has done. You know in your heart - as you've already said - that he's being a ****. And I know it's easier said than done...but forget him...rebuild your heart and try to live each day fully

# 20  11/15/12 9:25 PM

Posts: 32592
DD_67 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 47
Ireland
****
Love expert

amand77757 wrote:

I got chatting with a lovely lovely bloke and we got on great. Swapped numbers then txt and moved to phone calls (like 2 hour calls and normal chat was much of the call time). naturally we got closer and talked about meeting but as there was distance and it wasnt for **** we took it slow as what was the hurry with jobs, **** etc. OK, say 3 and half weeks ago I got a txt saying that he wouldnt be able to talk much as there were bad **** circumstances to deal with, so I said fine and to take some time. A week later I got a txt saying all was NOT fine but he was missing and thinking about me - I have no reason to believe otherwise. I have no idea what these circumstances are as I didnt like to ask. In the last 2 weeks have heard nothing at all. Sent the odd txt just saying how are you etc but no reply. Have asked a few friends for opinions which have varied greatly. I had a lot of feelings for this guy and he said he did for me. Cant work out whether it could still be true or if it was a **** and bull story to get rid of me. Things were going so well and we seemed to share a lot in common. Please tell me what you think. I dont want to look a fool , but if its true then I'd wait it out. Cant understand why no reply at all unless something awful has happened like a **** or something. ****

Hi there.  When i joined here first i got chatting with a lovely man too.  We texted constantly day and night and he was a great support to me when i was in a bad way.  He had his own very difficult circumstances too and was going through a hard time with his **** and he had a lot of financial problems too.  I gave him as much support as i could.  You could say we carried each other in a way.

One day he stopped texting me.  Just like that, out of the blue.  It was like he had disappeared off the face of the earth.  I gave him a few days, then texted, but no reply.  I rang him, but his phone wasn't working.  Every effort i made to contact him ended in silence.  I was frantic, because i knew he'd had health problems in the past, and i also knew he was quite down and feared the worst.  I had no way to know, and could do nothing.

Several months went by and one day i saw him online here.  Then i knew he was still alive, but i made no attempt to contact him here.  Instead i wrote him a long email.  I told him how worried i'd been and how i'd been thinking the worst.  He mailed me back and said he had never meant to hurt me, but that things (life) got too much for him, and he couldn't cope.  He had shut down ****, just going to work and only having contact with his ****.  He'd even stopped talking to his own ****. Slowly we rebuilt our friendship, and eventually we got back to where we were before it all happened.

Sorry for the long reply.  It's just that sometimes people can be too quick to think the worst of someone.  Sometimes people really can't cope, for whatever reason, and this is what happens.  There are good people, and not everyone is out to hurt us or con us.  Even if this one turns out to have been lying to you, don't let him make you lose hope, or lose sight of the good ones that are around us.

I hope you get answers.  Not knowing is the very worst thing ****

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