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Painfully shy.

# 1  12/31/13 3:21 PM

Posts: 5
marks This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 51
United Kingdom
Naughty newbie

I've been curious to know if any other members share the same issue I seem to be having ?  That of crippling shyness.

I figured I may as well post here and see if the subject is interesting enough to keep me here a **** longer

First a **** background.  I'm a gamer (computers) who recently turned 51.  I'm a bit of a shut in and have been off the dating scene for over 10 years.  Being single (a bachelor to be more precise) has never bothered me too much.  Until recently that is (the last couple of years) when an in game friend and I started flirting with each other furiously and discovered we both fancied each other rotten.  Nothing came of it in the end as she's in a long term relationship but, it totally renewed my interest in ****.  In fact I seem to have been in a constant state of arousal ever since. 

The point being that I'm ok and familiar with naughty chat.  Thoroughly enjoy it if I'm being honest

Next bit is a **** depressing but was probably the final straw that brought me to a site like this.

My **** died in April and for the first time since I was in my 20's I felt truly alone.  No one there to help me **** my grief when I got the news.  I had my **** ofc but, I don't live with them so those lonely nights with no one to hug were just painful and for the fist time in forever I wished I had a partner in my life.

Which, several months later, led me here. 

Now at this point I need to add a proviso.  The next paragraph is by no means meant as a dig at the site.  It is simply my experience to date.  I've read many of the posts about peoples varying degrees of success as a result of using it and, obviously, sites like these are what you make of them yourself which, as I hope you'll see, is the point of this post

You've probably gathered by now that I've not had any success with the site to date   Initially I blamed the site though, as I've since seen from reading the forums, this isn't the case.  I was replying to messages without getting any further response and on examination of their profiles it was clear I wasn't what they were looking for anyway.  I only seemed to be getting chat messages from girls less than half my age with no picture or looking like a lingerie model whom I "no thanks"ed.  I was beginning to think there were a serious amount of young girls with **** issues out there for a bit   Then messages started coming from girls of a more "appropriate" age.  Many of which I chatted to only to be hit with the "you on Skyppe or **** ?  we can chat there (aren't we chatting now ? ^^), can I get your ****-mail ?" etc.

Now, ofc, I figured out after a couple of weeks that I hadn't set for "Flirtcasts" and, therefor, why I wasn't ever getting a reply from my responses (all of them "clean" and polite by the way. Though perhaps that, in itself, was an error ? ) and that's when I realised.  I find myself incapable of making the first move.  Once a move is made, I'm fine but I can't even seem to bring myself to send out a Flirtcast myself !

This all brings me to the question. 

Are there any others like me who're signed up to the site desperately hoping for, what will hopefully be, the girl of your dreams to make the first move ? 

I don't imagine this is an issue for many of the female members unless it's the other way around for them but I'm curious there too.  Also is there any advice you can think to give that may benefit from experience ?



# 2  1/4/14 12:27 PM

Posts: 6
asncutsie This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Woman, 19
Regents Park
Naughty newbie

I really like your story Mark I can't really help with shyness however being VERY shy and quiet myself, I know how you feel. I hope everything is well for you

# 3  5/8/14 2:38 AM

Posts: 119
readingdave*1 This member uses the Web version of BeNaughty
Man, 46
United States
Naughty newbie

I am love-shy myself. Part of overcoming it is to tip your toe in the water so to speak. Try a **** that is safe, then try a **** which is a **** more daring. You could always not answer your email. Try that datecast thing.
My mantra is warmth, comfort, and safety. They are the three conditions my psych prof suggested for a **** encounter. So, find where you feel that way and invite others to feel that way.

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