If you’re trying your luck with online dating, you might have experienced that anxious feeling of whether or not you should send the first message to someone you find attractive.
If you do decide to send a message, now you’re going to struggle with what you should (or shouldn’t) say. Should you be to the point and ask her out or should you be charming and offer up a compliment and try to warm her up first?
To find out what really works in a first message to draw someone in, researchers asked a group of 1,000 people who had met their significant other on an online dating site what was in the first message they sent.
Many of the participants said they pulled something from their profile. In fact, 20% of the ladies who were surveyed said that their husbands used this trick when messaging them.
When you sit back and think about things, of course, it would make sense that you would mention something in their profile. When you do this, it lets the other person know that you took the time to read their profile and that you are interested in getting to know them to some degree. Now this particular “trick” doesn’t include compliments on her appearance. So if you think that you can win her heart by commenting on her beautiful smile or her stunning physique, you would only be among 9%.
No, if you really want to stand out in her mind, you should look for something relatively obscure in her profile because it shows that you are looking for something to bond together with.
“In my profile, anyone could quickly learn that music was my life, and I was passionate about folk music in particular. A gentleman sent me a link for an upcoming folk music event that was coming up a few weeks away and asked if I wanted to go with him,” Maria shares. She agreed to go with the guy and to say they hit it off is an understatement. The duo has been happily married for two years now.
You can also look for clues in other places of her profile to get some ideas of what to say. For example, if you notice that in the background of one of her profile pictures you see the mascot for a particular baseball team. You could ask her if she was rooting for that team or the other. Or, if you read that she studied abroad in Greece for a year, you could ask what she enjoyed most of the experience. You could take it even further and look for any mentions of a hobby or other interest that you’ve got in common and build off of that.
When you send her a message that clearly indicates that you are interested in her for more than just how she looks, you can bet she will appreciate your advances so much more. So, let’s make a long story short, make it a point always to do your homework because you never know if this girl could be your wife one day.