I like to think of myself as reasonably well-adjusted, but now I'm not so sure.
I had a chat with someone recently and they asked me what I think about something. I told them, and they said they weren't convonced by my answer. Anyway, after a **** pressure I blurted out what I really thought, the essence of which was that I didn't trust them. (Them being a lady.)
This upset her quite a bit, and she let me have it gently with a bit of a "Why don't you trust me?" rant.
Well she has a point. She's done nothing for me to not trust her, in fact she's been golden. But due to a bad experience with exes, I'm loathe to trust women now. I don't mean that in a maniacly suspicious way, but just in a practical day to day cautious way.
I've lived a double life of deception for so long now, that distrust seems to have wormed its way into my DNA. I mean as a married man, the irony is not lost on me: I'm hardly the most trustworthy person in the world because if I was, I wouldn't be here. But it still came as a bit of a surprise to realise that, no, I don't trust her. Not because she's untrustworthy, but because I'm distrusting. I dunno, I'm old enough now to have picked up some baggage, so I suppose it's only to be expected that I have the odd issue here and there.
Oh well, I might be a bit bent out of shape, but I'm not broken.
Jun 7, 14 7:10 PM